11/4/09

Why you should vote for Peter Griffin and not Ron Paul

1) Peter Griffin played for the New England Patriots. Ron Paul? Soccer fan.

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2) Peter Griffin is mentally retarded. Ron Paul? Probably.

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3) Peter Griffin owns an awesome boat. Ron Paul? Can't even swim.

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4) Peter Griffin is part black. Ron Paul? Whiter than Carrot Top.

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5) Peter Griffin dated Jennifer Love Hewitt. Ron Paul? Probably gay.

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6) Peter Griffin is a Boston Red Sox fan. Ron Paul? Yankees fan.

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7) Peter Griffin met the Pope. Ron Paul? Jewish.

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8) Peter Griffin was James Wood High's School Board President. Ron Paul? Didn't even go to high school.

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9) Peter Griffin has modeled for ads. Ron Paul? Hates models. Even the hot ones.

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10) Peter Griffin hangs out with Bill Clinton. Ron Paul? Too old to hang out.

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11) Peter Griffin was the president of his own country, Petoria. Ron Paul? Can't even spell president (see 8).

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12) Peter Griffin likes your baby, even if he's a hideous looking thing. Ron Paul? Eats babies.

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Yes, this is from the future.